Nothing More Zen Than Green Beans

Stringing and snapping them, that is! It brings back memories of sitting at the kitchen table and working on a big old "mess" of green beans with my mom. Ahh, great memory. Now I love, love, love to prepare fresh green beans. I normally make them with a little olive oil and red skinned baby potatoes, but I'm kind of tired of that way. Today I'm spicing it up and making Asian inspired green beans. I'm steaming them with some minced garlic, then tossing them in sesame oil and a sprinkle of black sesame seeds. Yum-O!!

I'm changing my tune, too. I've been reading and listing to an audiobook by Geneen Roth. She has her Phd, basically, in emotional eating. Essentially her shtick is to 1) Eat only when you're hungry, 2) eat what your body wants, 3) Stop when you've had enough (not "full", but "enough), 4) Eat without distractions, and there's one more rule that's escaping me. The biggie is not to do all the things I do, like eat while watching TV or doing things on my computer. She suggests you use a hunger scale, much like the Weight Watchers one. She's very anti-diet, and everything she says makes sense. Almost all her books preach the same principles, so any of them are worth a read. Anyway, I want to incorporate this into Weight Watchers, as I think it is essential for me to continue to work on the whys of my unhealthy eating patterns. And with this, I'm going to really, really focus on giving my body what I want in terms of food without any limitations. I tend to look at Weight Watchers as a diet, and view certain foods as "off limits" when that is not intention of the program. In the end it leads me to binge on the "right foods", probably trying to fill that void that could be filled by just indulging my taste buds a little bit. Roth actually bucks any dieting or tracking philosophies, but with my upcoming wedding, I don't think I can let go that much. But I plan on using her wisdom to learn about myself and combine it with Weight Watchers. I'll eat what I want to satisfaction, and THEN I'll track it. If I'm over points that day, I'll know to scale back yesterday, and hopefully if I've had a day full of rich foods, my body will (eventually) crave lighter foods the next day and so on. One of the biggest things she said that really hit home is that working on our relationship with food will ALWAYS be something we need to pay attention to. But that it's easier to work with when you become curious about your behavior patterns around food and accept that you are "always arriving" when it comes to a healthy relationship with food, and that diets make you think you're on the express track to "getting there", when we truly will never be 100% "there".

In other news, my hair is a fab shade of red with blonde "peek-a-boo" highlights around my bangs and underneath the red. I have a new love in my life, and it's my hairdresser, Rozy. She has an amazing life story, and her work is amazing. She takes her time and does it right. Haha, that sounds like I'm talking about sex, but I'm seriously talking about her work as a hairstylist and it is seriously an art! I was there for 3+ hours getting color and a cut, but walked out looking like a fox an a half! I went for happy hour at the local sushi bar and felt like a million bucks! Also, I am this much closer to having a job and being able to move to be with Dave in a stress-free mindset. Additionally, we have looked at a house that we really love, and are going to look into buying it now. It may not be feasible with me owning my house here in town as well, but I have decided to be okay with whatever happens. I can see the pluses of buying now, but there are definitely things I can do with the money we will save if we stay in his apartment for a little while.

We also took my engagement ring back to the jewelry store. Well, actually I took it in to get it cleaned for a reason I thought was my own fault. Basically, a couple days after Dave proposed, I noticed what looked like a piece of sand trapped under the diamond. It kind of looked like a black speck of pepper, but we were at the beach, so I totally thought it was from that. When I took it in to get it cleaned, I was told that actually, it was an inclusion. A rather large one at that. When Dave bought the ring, it was told to him that while it was not completely perfect and free of all inclusions, it was rated very low on the inclusion scale (the "I" part of the diamond scoring system). After talking to some jewelry friends, they said that basically, if it had that rating, there shouldn't be an inclusion there that is noticeable every time I look at it. So after being very upset and feeling cheated, I cried, talked to Dave, Dave got upset, we got upset together, I made sure to let him know that I in NO WAY thought this was his fault. You honestly cannot see it under bright jewelry store lights (coincidence??), but I notice it ALL THE TIME in regular light. While I was waiting for the cleaning to be done the day before, I noticed the original ring I'd told Dave I loved was still in the case. It is an antique, circular diamond in bezel setting with small sapphires all around it. It's very art deco, it's VERY unique, and the reason Dave didn't buy it the first time is because he wasn't sure it looked "engagementy enough". He asked the jeweler to help him find something similar, but different. I love the ring that he picked out, don't get me wrong. And every time I think about when he proposed, I'll remember how taken aback I was by how beautiful the ring was, but I don't want a ring that's imperfect. I am not a girl who will ever "trade up". This is my one engagement ring. I will wear it until I die and then pass it on to my children. I know it's going to be crazy explaining to everyone where the new ring came from, but worth it in the end. It's the original ring I fell in love with, and I think Dave is fine with it. I have assured him that I don't fault him in any way, and I don't feel like he let me down at all. He says he's cool with the original ring as long as I'm happy. I'm cool with him because he is so cool like that. I am the luckiest girl in the world!