Too tight Spanx and a too small bridesmaid dress.....crikey!

Ah, the official start to my very own blog. What to say, what to say? Some background would be good, I suppose.

Looking back, I've always been that girl who "could stand to lose a few". In high school, I could have stood to lose about 5-10 pounds, but you couldn't tell me that- I thought I was massively obese back then because my body didn't look like every other girl. I was curvy and already sporting a C cup, but I just didn't know how to work it at that age. In college, I gained the typical 20ish pounds, and took it all of my junior year via Weight Watchers and a pretty steady diet of exercise (kickboxing, running, elliptical, walking trails and weight training). I felt great! As college ended, I was majorly bummed because a lot of friends of mine moved away to start new jobs elsewhere and I was stuck with a crappy boyfriend and lots of adjustments to make. I then ended up going BACK to college, this time to become a nurse. I entered into a very stressful dual degree program where I was taking classes to earn both my BSN and my MSN. I ended up stopping after I'd gotten my BSN because the stress and the mounting student loans was making me insane, and, you guessed it- gain more weight.

I've been a nurse for about 3 years and somehow fell into what I believe is the most stressful hospital floor that I could have ever picked. It's a mixed medical/oncology floor and I find myself working mainly on the oncology side. I love my patients, but I grow very attached, and many of them end up coming back to our hospital to die. Lots of them are geriatric patients, which is also a love of mine, so it can all get to be quite draining. Add into the mix several coworkers who embarrass me daily with their own ignorance and it can be pretty overwhelming. The beauty of nursing is that you don't JUST have to work in a hospital or a doctor's office. There are many doors that are open for nurses. And pretty soon I'll be walking through a new door, hopefully.

How does this all tie into weight loss and gain? Well, clearly my adult life has been full of upheaval and stress and while it's taken me nearly 8 years to realize it- I now see that I am a stress eater. The seratonin that is produced in my brain when I eat carbs and chocolate have a massive calming effect. Over the years I've gotten lazy, and let this become my main source of stress control. The end result? I now weigh the most I've ever weighed in my life.

Today, I might have a stressful job, but I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I've been with for a little over a year. We have been in a long-distance relationship since June because of his job, but fortunately, he lives at the beach, so it's a pretty relaxing trip to make. On November 1st, one of my best friends is getting married. I ordered my bridesmaids dress one size too small thinking I'd be killer skinny by then. Now it's something like 5 weeks away and even my spanx are too tight!! My legs look like a sausage in casing. My dress prettttty much won't zip without severely stretching the hem, but I'm working like a madwoman to get the pounds off in the next 5 weeks. I know it won't be ALL the pounds I have to lose, but I'm hoping it will be a good jump start.

I'm doing Weight Watchers online this time and utilizing the wonderful North Carolina fall weather to get outside and enjoy my surroundings while trying to start running again.