Annoyed. Hurt. Angry.

216.0 is my weight at home this morning. I can't even bring myself to go to a meeting because I'm so upset. I don't want the knowing looks of pity or anything else they can throw at me. I'm just not in the mood.

You see, I earned 39 activity points this week. That has to be a record for me since, well, probably before nursing school (~6 or so years ago). Here's the breakdown of my week:

Saturday: I don't always count points for housework, but I spent 6 hours sweeping, dusting, scrubbing and moving furniture, so I have myself some points for that. The tracker said something ridiculous, like 15 APs, so I toned it down to 180 minutes for 9 points. Believe me, I worked at a frantic pace and was absolutely exhausted when done!

Sunday: Spent about 2 hours swimming in the ocean total. I toned it down to 45 minutes, since some times you're just bobbing around out there, not really moving. 3 points.

Monday: Elliptical trainer at work during lunch break. 2 points
20 minutes on Arc trainer prior to personal training session. 2 points
Personal training session, 30 minutes. 2 points
20 min bike ride around neighborhood. 1 point

Tuesday: Absolutely BRUTAL boot camp class on lunch break at work. 6 points
Arc trainer before personal training session, 20 minutes. 2 points
Personal training session, 30 minutes. 2 points

Wednesday: 45 minutes on elliptical trainer at lunch. 4 points

Thursday: Arc trainer, 30 minutes. 4 points
Personal training session, 30 minutes. 2 points.

I ate my WPA, and probably half of my APs and I have a big fat gain? WTF? I'm not stopping the exercise because it makes me feel amazing. I'm just hoping that maybe it's just my body adjusting to all this movement. Either way, it's NOT FAIR. I'm going to try eating just 5 of my WPA each day, give or take a little. Maybe spacing it out more is the way to go here.

I did buy 5 dresses, a shirt and two belts yesterday and I DO feel like everything is fitting better. So take THAT, stupid scale!

I'm feeling really defeated right now, and of course it's got me wondering what ELSE could be wrong? Is it my thyroid? Is my IUD making me retain weight? PS- DON'T go in search of the answers on the internet. I made that mistake in a moment of panic and learned that every type of birth control on the market makes you a 300 pound version of Kate Gosselin with PMS, 24 hours a day. I'm screwed. Le sigh.

All I can hope for this week is that I get my head out of my ass about the whole thing, switch it up with the points distribution, and hopefully get a big drop next Saturday when I WILL go to my meeting! I'm going to publicly declare that I'd like to get to 210 next week. I think at lot of this 216 is bogus anyway. Who am I kidding, though? I'd take 214 too. But 210 would be a huge achievement, as I've been bouncing back and forth between 212-217 for far too long. It's time to break on through to the other side!