Craving Change

Once upon a time, I did Weight Watchers in college and looked fabulous as a result. That was almost a decade ago. Since then I've had *some* success, but more in the yo-yo sense. As in, I'll lose 5-10 pounds, then gain back half, then lose, then gain. You've probably all been down this road at some point too. I know I am not alone in this. I reached my highest weight of 218 in November of 2008, and I have managed to pretty consistently keep 6 of those pounds off, and have lost as much as 13 off of that terrible highest number of all time on the scale. But........that's it.

I'm looking for something more. The fact is, I'm just not inspired all by Weight Watchers right now. Don't get me wrong, I WANT the plan to work for me. I would love to use Weight Watchers to get to my ultimate goal weight. My mom just made her goal weight, and is really succeeding on the program. I have lots of blog friends who are using it and having success. Me? I just tend to resent it. In fact, Weight Watchers is feeling a lot like a boyfriend that I desperately want to break up with, yet, can't because I don't have the confidence to be "single" again (or in this case, trying to lose weight without Weight Watchers).

With my upcoming wedding, I don't want to make a move that I will regret come wedding day, but I feel like I'm just wasting time by pretending to be interested in and motivated by Weight Watchers when my heart really just isn't in it. This is not to say that I won't make my way back to using the program at some point, but right now I'm craving something different. I'm using my personal trainer twice a week, plus working out on my own. It's only been a few weeks, but I already feel amazing and see changes in my body. I think I will do an experiment over the next couple of weeks and follow the program that my trainer recommends, which basically is just eating 5-6 small meals per day, increasing protein and limiting fattening foods. This all sounds reasonable and doable, however, letting go of Weight Watchers makes me feel uneasy and like it may be very easy to find myself getting out of control.

I think I'll post here my food journal as I try to evolve into a new plan. Then after a few weeks, if it's not working, maybe I'll try something else. I hate feeling so lost. :(