I don't know if I'm just stretched too thin right now with work obligations or what, but I have NOT been feeling the healthy vibes for over a week now. I've done pretty well AT work still, but it's the getting home an having multiple snacks before immediately hitting the bed that is killing me. I don't sleep well when I do that. I wake up feeling yucky and guilty. I'm fatigued. I don't want to work out. Rinse. Repeat.
I have to get out of this cycle. It seems like once I conquer one hurdle, another bad food behavior rears it's ugly head. I didn't weigh myself this Friday- my normal weigh in day. Partly because I forgot my scale at home and was at D's house. I DID weigh on Thursday on his scale and it said I was like 0.8 higher than the previous weigh-in. Now, not to get too psycho, but what if his scale weighs lighter than mine? Then I may have had an even bigger gain. What if it weighs more? Ack! I hadn't planned on staying Friday night there, but my man got off work early and we decided on dinner and a movie. I was "mostly" good on Friday. The point is, by the time I got home, it was Saturday afternoon. I'd already eaten. Then I had to work last night. So when I wake up in the afternoon, I feel all bloated. So I just skipped this week. I know with Weight Watchers meetings, it's TOTALLY fine to use your little "skip my weigh-in" pass. I don't know why i feel so guilty. I guess because I know from the past that when I skip a weigh-in, it usually leads to a downward spiral of off track eating. I don't want to do that. Not this week.
I'm still working on getting over the guilt. I have this bad habit of throwing the towel in way too early. I use not being perfect as an excuse to veer off track. In reality, no one is perfect 100% of the time. I need to work every minute of every day to let myself believe this.
So here is my daily affirmation: I overate this morning. 9.5 points. No big freaking deal. I have plenty of WPA left for this week. I'll be FINE. I'd like to point out that because of said after-work binge of baked doritos, 100 calorie packs of hostess cupcakes (3 of them) and 2 servings of turkey pepperoni, I did not sleep well. I went to bed without taking my allergy medicine. When I woke up this afternoon, I felt sniffly, tired, weak and dehydrated. I do not like this feeling. Because of it, I did not work out. I'd planned on doing a simple 20 minutes of Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred, but I felt too tired. My head hurt. I attribute all of this to my little points overage from this morning. Maybe it does have to do with it, maybe it was going to happen anyway. The point being, I'm not going to do that tomorrow morning when I walk in the door after work. Instead, I'm taking my meds with some water, heading upstairs, brushing my teeth, washing my face and delving into a delicious 6 hours of sleep. I have to be back at work at 3pm for a meeting, and then I'm off to a (hopefully short) graduation ceremony for earning my Geriatric Resource Nurse title. After that, I'll come home, cook a great meal, and finally get in that 30-day shred video.
On Tuesday, I'll have the day off. I'd like to use it to straighten and organize my house and get in a great workout at the gym. Those are my only two expectations for the day. And to be as healthy as possible in terms of eating. Those are the days that I love. I may not be perfect that day, or any other day. But I'll be the best that I can be. And work on feeling NO GUILT.
1 comment:
Okay, so as you said up there, you already know, nobody is perfect 100% of the time. No one is perfect ever actually, and please don't use a bad morning, a bad day, a bad week as an excuse to throw in the towel. It's really about the much bigger picture. I was talking to my sister and telling her pretty much the same thing, okay, so you quit. Fine. Let's just say you quit, then what? You go back to eating whatever you want whenever you want and you gain back the weight you've lost and then some? Is that really what you want, because its easier? You already said yourself how horrible you "feel" when you snack and you don't sleep well and of course that leads to not wanting to get up and exercise. I completely understand this cycle. One feels so much better when they make healthy choices. Just take it one day at a time, and I hope you are willing and ready to continue to make this your lifestyle. Take it each moment at a time.
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