Oprah-isms Continued: Why Are You Overweight?

Oh man, what a loaded question! Especially after I maintained at 212 this week. I'm so ready to never be in the 200's again. So here is my list:

1) I spend a lot of time in "fat denial". I can still buy clothes in regular stores (barely), and I think I still look hot when I put some effort in, so what's the problem? That is my attitude a lot of the time. So you can imagine my shock when I see my reflection in the hospital doors while wearing unflattering scrubs. Yeah, total shock. I AM fat!

2) I have the best of intentions, but I'm easily distracted. Ohhh...........shiny!! That's kind of how my weeks start. I make a list of what I'm eating every single day, and I follow it for a couple of days and then something comes up and the whole "eating healthy" and "tracking" and "exercise" concepts just fly out the window for a couple of days. Then I have my "holy shit" moment, and try my best to pull myself back up, but usually I've either gained or maintained by that point, and that gets to be really discouraging. Side note: That's happened a lot on this journey, but I've kept plugging away. I'm on Week 9 and I've only lost 6.2 pounds. But this time I haven't gotten frustrated or discouraged- I've just been silently taking notes about things I should really work on changing if I want to be a better me.

3) I eat my feelings. And I'm not saying I'm some miserable person who is depressed and eats to stuff away negative feelings. Heck no- I tend to eat EVERY feeling? Happy? Let's go have a few beers and then what the heck, let's order nachos! Celebrating? How about some cake? Stressed out? Let's get mexican. Yeah, so I do that. A lot.

4) I'm lazy. There, I said it. Probably the biggest obstacle of them all. I get lazy. I get mad that I can't just lie around, snacking and catching up on TV and not have an amazing body. Then I get resentful and just give up for periods of time. This only hurts me. I know this. I've known this for years.

5) I was over-indulged as a child. Let me put the disclaimer in that I don't harbor negative feelings toward my parents. My mom had a pretty tragic childhood. She wanted best for her only child, and I learned at a very early age how to manipulate her so I could get anything I wanted. This often led her to allowing for food items and other treats that I would have been better off without. Well now that I'm an adult, I only have to manipulate my own mind, so lots of times I find myself giving in to my cravings and overindulging .

I'm surprised my list isn't longer, but these are some pretty unhealthy attitudes and behaviors. Plenty enough to keep me overweight if I keep practicing them. My goal this week is to track every lick, bite and taste that goes into my mouth. I've used 5 of my WPA this week so far, and earned 4 APs. I'm about to go earn more here after lunch. I'm doing some activities to keep my stress levels down after work to avoid binges. AND, I'm going to be uber-aware of the food I eat while I visit my boyfriend this week. I'm not going to stop counting points, even if I go over. And I'm going to exercise while I'm there. I really have no barriers other than myself.